Tis the Season-Proflynnza Goes Christmas Shopping
by Ilovedesserts
Summary: Flynn plus Provenza...what could possibly go wrong? One-shot. These characters are not my own. I just enjoy them and have created this as now an A/U.


Yes, we all need something after last night's episode...hope this helps to brighten the mood.

* * *

It was the most wonderful time of the year. Christmas, but Christmas in LA was always a crazy time. Wonderful? Maybe. Murders? Definitely. Mischief? Well, Andy and Provenza had certainly had their share over the years, but they were done with that. The two flirting bachelors were no more; they were both happily married with just over a half dozen marriages between them, but neither was counting. Sharon and Patrice were it for them; they were both extremely happy and looking forward to Christmas with their families.

Andy was particularly happy. Life was good, very good. He and Sharon were coming up on a month of wedded bliss; they'd gotten married just after Thanksgiving, and he couldn't' be happier. Both were in good health; Andy was doing well with his new heart medication, and Sharon had finally gotten over her flu. The doctor had been concerned more was wrong with Sharon, but it ended up being a lot of stress, not that it was a surprise. Rusty, the wedding, Stroh, work, everything-it had all been stressful, but the two were settling back into their lives again, this time as a legally unified front, and for once, all was right with the world.

This particular evening, Major Crimes was planning to wrap early. They'd been working until almost 7:00 all week, and on this Thursday evening, Sharon had told the team she wanted everyone to head home at 3:00. Well, she'd told them she wanted them to at least leave the office. Neither she nor Andy were going home; Provenza wasn't either. They all had plans.

Patrice was going to meet Sharon at work, and the women were going to do some Christmas shopping together. They had really become the best of friends. Patrice was a lovely woman, and she was funny and smart. Sharon and Andy had spent many conversations trying to figure out how she fell in love with Provenza, and they'd always ended up laughing at all the speculations. So, Sharon and Patrice were going to go shopping, a girls' night out. They had plans to get dinner together, and if all worked out, they had even discussed meeting the guys for a late dessert date. That was still tentative; it really depended on how long it took to do their shopping as well as whatever mischief the guys got into as well, because, both Sharon and Patrice knew the guys wouldn't be able to stay out of trouble. It just found them; it always did.

The guys knew their wives had plans, and that was fine with them, great actually. While they both were more than happy to spend time with their individual spouse, it was still nice to have their "guy" time, their "Proflynnza" time. They needed it, and even if the two were too stubborn to admit it, they missed it. They had been bachelors so long, it was something they really enjoyed doing, hanging out for an evening, and they rarely had the chance.

When the discussion of a girls' night had come up with the women, Andy had suggested just getting together with Provenza at the condo to watch a game. The problem was there wasn't a game to really watch. Baseball was over, and neither were terribly excited about football. Truth be told, Sharon and Patrice were the two more likely to watch football. They both loved it, and honestly, Provenza had been worried if they'd told the women they were going to watch a Thursday evening football game, the wives might crash the Proflynnza party.

So, the men had brainstormed, and as much as they hated to admit it, they needed to do some Christmas shopping too. Andy wanted to shop for Sharon; Provenza needed to shop for Patrice. There was a difference, and the biggest difference was the grin Andy had on his face thinking about the perfect gift for Sharon, which was opposite the scowl Provenza had as he thought about having to spend money on a Christmas present for his wife. Still, it needed to be done, and the men were going to get their shopping done tonight no matter what. They hadn't told the ladies that, though. They'd simply told them they had plans to get some dinner and just hang out together. Of course, Sharon and Patrice had rolled their eyes at that, and Sharon, very pointedly, told Andy she didn't want to get a roll out call with her husband and senior lieutenant as the star witnesses.

So, back at the office, it was coming up on 3:00 in the afternoon. The team, they all LOOKED hard at work, but looks were often deceiving. Julio was shopping online for Christmas gifts for Mark. He was making up for lost time and spoiling him rotten. Mike was busy looking at beach web camera views of Hawaii; he had plans to take his whole family there for Christmas. Provenza was working on yet another crossword. Buzz had headphones on and was listening to his sister, Casey's, weather forecast. Now, she lived in Seattle, but it was something he did each day to stay close to her. Amy was sending text messages back and forth to her friends, making dinner plans for the evening. Wes and Cami also appeared to be texting, and if anyone was a detective, they might have figured out the two were texting back and forth with each other. The grins on both faces told the team that love might be in the air again, a mini-Raydor and mini-Flynn, so to speak. Andy was busy texting with all the kids, trying to gather pictures for a project he wanted to give Sharon. He'd found the sweet spot of the day, a time when most of the kids had a free moment to text him back. He looked up when he heard footsteps coming into the office.

"Patrice," Provenza sat up quickly from his chair. He had been lounging, feet on the desk and stretched out with a package of Christmas cookies at his side. He quickly tossed the package of cookies at Buzz's desk, but not before Patrice noticed and rolled her eyes. "Is it 3:00 already?" Provenza asked as he looked at his watch; he'd lost track of time.

"I saw those cookies," she said sweetly as she walked up to him and leaned down to kiss his cheek. "Louie Provenza, do you really think I'm that naïve?"

The team started to laugh, and Patrice looked to the rest of the team. "Hi, everyone. Merry Christmas!"

"Patrice, you are looking lovely today," Andy smiled as he greeted her from across the room. She looked down at her apparel and smiled at Andy.

"Why, thank you, Andy. I actually found this outfit last time Sharon and I went shopping. It's one she told me I had to try on, and she was right," she grinned.

"Thanks a lot, Flynn," Provenza huffed.

"Me? What did I do?" Andy asked.

"Well, your wife suggested it, so naturally, you're to blame. Patrice bought it, putting a big dent in my credit card," he explained.

Andy rolled his eyes and sighed, "How am I to blame for that? I wasn't even there."

Provenza gestured, "Well, you were so intent on starting up some romance with a certain captain. It all goes back to that. If you hadn't started dating her, you wouldn't have become a couple. The four of us woudn't have started having dinner together all the time, and our wives wouldn't have become the best of friends. Your fault. Now, we're here today, and they are going shopping again. That can't be good."

The team all started to laugh, and Patrice swatted at Provenza, "Oh, Louie. You stop it. I do whatever I please. You and Andy both have pretty sweet situations now. You and Andy would be a mess without the two of us."

"You're right about that, Ma'am," Julio grinned at her.

"Well, I'm going to collect Sharon," Patrice nodded at Provenza. She shook her head when she glanced to Buzz's desk and saw Provenza's cookies sitting on top of it where they had landed.

"So, a girls' night?" Amy leaned forward on her desk and looked to Provenza.

He rolled his eyes, "Christmas shopping," he sighed.

"That sounds fun," Amy smiled as Patrice started toward Sharon's office. Andy gestured for Patrice to come his way, and he pushed off from his desk and rolled his chair backward to Sharon's door. He opened it with his arm and gestured for her to enter. He then rolled his chair back to his desk. Sharon looked up at the sound of the door and started to laugh when she saw Andy's chivalrous act even from the comfort of his desk chair.

"The wives are going Christmas shopping," Andy explained after seeing that Provenza wasn't going to offer any information. "We're doing the same." He glanced up to make sure Sharon's office door was now closed; it was, and he felt like he could reveal their plans for the night.

"You two?" Julio started to chuckle. "Great, I guess we'll get rolled out tonight."

"What makes you say that, Julio?" Wes grinned from his desk. "I sort of made plans for tonight myself."

Ahh, yeah, I did too," Cami piped in. "What's this about a roll out?"

"Anytime the two of them go out on the town," Mike chimed in, "they seem to stumble onto a crime."

"Hey! We can't help it, but that's all behind us. We're married men now," Andy grinned.

"It's 3:00," Sharon announced as she opened her office door and walked out ahead of Patrice. She smiled down at Andy, who looked up at her from his desk chair. She squeezed his shoulder as she walked by to address the group further. Patrice followed, her purse in hand, and she stood back while Sharon finished with the team. "Please, wrap up things and go home. We've had a long week, and it is the Christmas season after all. I will see most of you tomorrow morning."

"Most?" Buzz questioned.

"Yes," Sharon tried to hold back a smile. "I hope we don't get rolled out this evening," she turned and glared at Andy and then over to Provenza. The team started to laugh. "I say most because I expect to see two of you tonight for dessert and nothing more."

"Nothing more?" Julio chuckled as he shook his head. "Ma'am, are you and the lieutenant already having problems that you don't even want to see him at home?"

"Sharon, are they always like this?" Patrice gestured to the team.

She turned to Patrice and rolled her eyes, "This is a calm afternoon." She turned to address Julio, "I simply meant that I don't want to see my husband and my second in command tonight for anything other than dessert and a double date. No crime scenes," she said sternly and nodded to Patrice. "With that, we are going shopping."

The team all said their good-byes to the women. Patrice pointed to Provenza, "Louie, behave with Andy."

He looked at her, shocked she would suggest otherwise, "Patrice, I'm the poster boy for good behavior." She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"No cookies either, Louie," and she blew him a kiss.

Sharon turned to Andy and smiled. He stood, and she leaned over and kissed him quickly. While the two had kept their marriage mainly out of work, she had been openly more affectionate with him since getting married. She tried to stick to work hours, and with this, they were now off the clock.

The women waved, and they started out of the office. Provenza threw up his hands in surprise, "So, Flynn gets a kiss, and I don't?"

Sharon stopped and turned to him, looking surprised, "Oh, I'm sorry. I hadn't planned to kiss you, seeing as how that would really make our professional relationship a bit more awkward."

The team burst out laughing, and Andy, who was still standing there, put his head in his hands and started to shake it. Patrice nodded to Sharon, "Well played. Louie, I'll see you at home."

With the women out of the office, the team turned back to Andy and Provenza. "So, Lieutenant, what are you going to get the commander for Christmas?" Amy asked.

Andy smiled as he leaned back on the desk, "Well, I've been texting back and forth with the kids about some pictures. We had some great ones from the wedding, but I wanted to get some causal ones too. They are all helping me to created a photo collage for the hallway at home, the one right outside our bedroom. Sharon loves photos, and I'd like to put them up and down the hall. I think she'll love it. That's just one part. I really want to go to the jewelry store. With her new diamonds, she needs a bracelet and a necklace to go with that," he grinned.

"Sir, well done," Julio nodded.

"Hmm, I really need to find a guy like that who makes that effort," Cami said to herself, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

"What about you, Lieutenant?" Amy turned to Provenza.

"Slippers," he nodded. "I'm getting Patrice slippers."

Andy just nodded as he pursed his lips, "And, that's why, ladies and gentlemen, I'm taking Provenza shopping. We're going to make sure this is a good Christmas for Patrice."

The team laughed, and Andy gestured to Provenza. "Old guy, are you ready to go?"

"Fine," he huffed and stood. The rest of the team started to pack up their things. Buzz remained at his desk, and Mike looked to him.

"Buzz, you know you can leave, right? You aren't required to stay until 5:00," Mike informed him.

Buzz nodded, "Thanks, Lieutenant. I'm just getting caught up on Casey's posts. The tv station let her go out and do some Santa interviews. I haven't seen them, so I'm going to watch them here before I head home. Besides, it's rather warm for LA in December, and I'd rather wait until it's a bit cooler before I ride my bike home."

"Where is your bike, Buzz?" Amy asked looking around. "I haven't seen it here in a few days now."

"Oh," he frowned, "Chief Mason told me it couldn't sit here in Major Crimes. He asked that I put it in the parking garage where there are bike spaces. Problem is that those spaces are so far from the elevator. I haven't brought it up here, but anyway," he shrugged, "it's in the parking garage near the elevator."

The team nodded, and Andy looked to Provenza now irritated. "Tick tock, Old Man," he pointed at his watch. "The ladies are going to want to meet us for dessert, and I'd suggest we not disappoint them today."

Provenza waved his arm, and he looked to Flynn, "I'm driving. My car is better than yours."

"My car is newer," Andy scowled.

"We're taking the Batmobile," he nodded. "The team is right; we always stumble onto a case, so I'm going to be prepared. It's all in the precious rules your wife likes; I can do that with the Batmobile."

"Fine," Andy sighed. "I think Sharon was going to drive, so that might work anyway. We had both cars here this morning because she had to go to Andrea's office earlier, but this way, I can just ride home with her from dessert, and you can take Patrice."

With all that decided, the men bid the team goodbye for the night, and they started to the elevator. Once inside, they both relaxed against the wall, enjoying the comfortable silence.

"You do realize you need to do better than just a pair of slippers for Patrice, right?" Andy asked.

Provenza gestured, "Of course," he snapped. "I'm not going to tell the team that. I have a budget. I've saved $150 from the printer fund this year. That's my budge for Patrice's gift."

Andy raised his eyebrows, "You've collected $150 from the printer this year?"

"Yes, some of that was due to the federal employee price hike I initiated when our lovely friends from the FBI were here," he offered a small grin. Andy chuckled, and the two got off the elevator when it stopped at the parking garage level.

"Well, let's head to the jewelry store I like" Andy suggested. "No pawn shops!"

"Relax," Provenza nodded. "I actually thought I would get Patrice something there too. Earrings maybe. She loves earrings."

"Wow," Andy grinned. "She is wearing off on you. I'm impressed."

"Whatever I buy, I'm not spending more than $150," he gestured with his hands.

The men loaded into Provenza's police SUV, noting Sharon's car, next to that, was gone. Andy's car was on the other side of Provenza's, but as he'd told Provenza, he wouldn't need it if Sharon had her car. Provenza started the car, and instantly, a beeping sound took over the car.

"What is that awful sound?" Andy grimaced as he looked around.

"Oh, some malfunction," he rolled his eyes. "I called it in to the maintenance department. They can't get it in until next week, but they said from the description it's the backup sensor. It goes off from the moment you start the car until you are actually in drive. Annoying, but the car still works."

"We could have taken my car," Andy said, now irritated. "No beeping sounds."

"Well, just relax," Provenza snapped at him and threw the car into reverse. "I'll get going, and the sound will go away. Just watch." Provenza backed up quickly, ignoring the beeping sound. Suddenly, the two men heard a loud crash and crunch. Provenza stopped the car, and he looked over to Andy, horrified.

"What was that?" Andy gestured now terrified they'd hit someone or something.

"How should I know? The stupid alarm goes off all the time. I didn't know anything was back there," Provenza yelled.

"Well, don't just sit here," he gestured, as he took off his seatbelt. "Let's find out." The men got out of the car and walked to the back. Andy started to groan and shake his head.

"Is that-?" Provenza stopped talking and bent down to look under the car.

"You ran over Buzz's bike? How did you manage to do that?" Andy exclaimed.

"Why was it not in the bike rack? Buzz can't just leave it there in a no parking area!" Provenza started shouting. "Someone could hit it."

Andy glared at him, "SOMEONE did hit it, you!"

"Hey, this wasn't my fault!" Provenza yelled.

"Are you 13? You sound like a typical teenager, not my fault. It IS your fault! You ran over his bike and look at the car! You scraped the underside of the car too."

Provenza waved at that, "I don't care about the Batmobile, but how are we going to explain this to Buzz?"

"WE aren't," Andy said. "You are. You and your stupid car. You wouldn't let me drive, and then you ignored your back up alert. Your fault. You have to tell Buzz." Andy's phone rang, and he signed as he dug it from his pocket. "It's Sharon," he explained.

"Don't you tell her," Provenza pointed at her.

Andy was already answering, "Hey, Babe," he said into the phone. "We were just leaving, but we had a slight dust up," he chuckled. Provenza's eyes grew wide, as he started to explain. "Provenza just ran over Buzz's bike in the parking garage. Long story." The conversation continued, and Provenza tried to pry the bike out from under the car. It was wedged, and he'd have to move the car to get the bike. He gestured at Andy to finish on the phone. "Yeah, I agree that Provenza needs to pay for the bike." He smirked at Provenza and a few moments later, he hung up.

"You are the worst friend a person could have, Flynn! Patrice will know now," he exclaimed.

"As she should! You're an officer of the law, and you ran over a bike. It's almost a hit and run if you leave. You are now going to have to go back up there, tell Buzz, and then pay for a new bike."

"What? Isn't there some insurance he'd have on this?" Provenza exclaimed.

"Well, let's see," Andy put his hand to his mouth, "ahh, no! It's Buzz. This is his transportation. The bike is a mangled mess. You need to buy him a new one."

"$150 should cover it, I suppose," Provenza shook his head.

"Maybe a tire!" Andy exclaimed. "Buzz has a nice bike, HAD a nice bike. You're going to have to cough up the money," he chuckled.

Provenza threw a disgusted glance at Andy, and he shook his head, "We didn't' even get out of the parking garage."

"Don't remind me!" Andy exclaimed. "I'm done shopping with you. Sharon just might have to not be surprised year after year if it means I don't have to shop with you. This was the worst idea ever."

"Do you think Buzz would take free printing for the year in exchange?" Provenza asked.

"NO! I'll personally advise him that's a terrible deal," Andy exclaimed.

Provenza eyed him, "You had to go and marry the deal maker," he shook his head.

"Here's an idea," Andy nodded. "Park the Batmobile again. Dig out the bike. Go upstairs and tell the guy his precious bike is gone."

"That's no idea," Provenza sighed.

"Oh, the idea is that after that, Sharon said she'd come back by here with Patrice. They are going to pick up the two of us, and our fun evening, our double date, not dessert tonight, but a bike shop. Get ready, Old Man-we're spending our Christmas shopping at the bike shop where we will all help you pick out a new bike for Buzz."

Provenza's eyes flew open at the mention of all that. Panic set in on his face, and he sighed as he started to admit defeat. He suddenly looked up to Andy, "Do pawn shops carry bikes?"


End file.
